“Teetotalers need not apply.”


citrus glasses, copyright 2009

A friend recently sent me a job posting for a part-time lifestyle blogger, noting that it sounded “right up my alley.”

He was right — they were looking for someone to write about my city’s dining, hotel, art and local entertainment scene, and to snap pictures to go with.

I had all the requirements. Except one.

You must have a discerning palate and a basic understanding of cocktails and wine upon which you can build (vegetarians and teetotalers need not apply).

Needless to say, that last qualification cut me right out of the running. I briefly contemplated sending in an application anyway, along with a letter that argued that writing about libations seemed only a small portion of what the blog might comprise. But then I remembered that I do, after all, live in the hardest drinking city in the U.S.

So I just embraced my teetotalitude…and let it go.


9 Responses to ““Teetotalers need not apply.””

  1. ‘teetotalitude.’ Love it 🙂

  2. a young professional woman died over here whose job it was to go to promotional events (inoling drinks) as part of pr. died suddenly of liver failure. womens bodies are so much smaller so alcohol hits them fatally quicker.
    was mentioned in all the papers over here..

  3. 3 Mary W

    I noticed you said they also didn’t want vegetarians either which means they wanted someone who is hard drinking and loves Texas BBQ! So the blog would be skewed. Healthy lifestyles need to be blogged as much as those which have drinking and meat.

    I read a foodie blog out of NYC and pass on the stuff that is written about wine, beer and liquor. Why torture myself with what I know is bad for me?

    Keep up the good work.

  4. teetotalitude. say that three times fast. would be a pretty good scrabble word huh?

    I like what Bill said, even though it’s not a happy note. It’s so true that women’s bodies can’t handle alcohol as well. I’ve got in many a night of trouble forgetting that fact, trying to hang with the guys. Like many things with us: not fair.

    On another note, let’s have lunch and catch up soon.


  5. High-flyer film publicist, 33, dies suddenly of liver disease after regular drinking for her job


    ah here it is..

  6. Could someone define a teetotaler? One? Two? Three? Ten? No clue what this is.

  7. 7 C

    Not one. Not two. Not three. Not ten. In fact, not any. A teetotaler abstains from alcoholic drinks completely.

  8. I, too, live in this hard-drinking city. I’ve found that a number of high-end places don’t really have the 411 on how to make non-alcoholic cocktails. I think that would make a great article, if you feel like querying the publisher on it. A non-drinker rates places that make palatable “designated driver” drinks.

  9. 9 C

    Thanks for your comment.

    That’s a really great point. In fact, I ran into that problem (lack of knowledge/skill at making non-alcoholic drinks) recently in town. My sponsor has always suggested that I ask the bartender for a fun, fizzy concoction when I’m out with friends who are drinking fine wine or fancy cocktails – so I don’t feel left out. Last time I requested something like that, I got a Shirley Temple!

    I recently saw an online mention of a non-alcoholic drink recipe book – I need to dig that up….

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