When in funk, make list.

20Jul09

BartonSprings swimmer w/ hat ©2009 all rights reserved

I’m in a huger than huge funk right now.

I’m going through what a friend of mine euphemistically calls “personal turbulence” and I’m feeling pretty pitiful. Irritable. Out of sorts. Resentful. Sad. Lonely. And at times, not very hopeful.

I’m getting myself to as many AA meetings as possible. In them, I’ve received lots of good reminders about prayer, meditation, contact with my Higher Power – all things that I have let slip somewhat recently. I can feel the results of that absence in my life.

I also haven’t made a gratitude list of late. So here’s one for good measure.  Literally.

  • I am grateful for my two daughters. They amaze me every day. They frustrate and infuriate the hell outta me sometimes, too, but the wonderful things they bring to my life far outweigh the minor annoyances.
  • I am grateful for my recent discovery (thanks to a friend at my regular Wednesday morning AA meeting) of a Sunday night AA meeting that feels pretty good so far. Because I share custody of my daughters with my ex and we alternate weeks, we typically do the hand-off on Sunday afternoon. This means that every other Sunday evening — when my girls are gone and the house feels far too empty and quiet for my liking — has the potential to be a real downer for me. Yesterday it felt especially bad. I attended this newfound meeting, though, and was reminded to consider the many good things in my life. Thus, this list.
  • I am grateful for air conditioning. And pools. It’s been an inferno here in Central Texas. We’ve already had 30+ days of triple-digit, record-breaking temperatures. Maybe it’s heat stroke, but I am seriously considering elevating Dave Lennox to the post of my Higher Power.
  • I am grateful for Ben & Jerry’s Imagine Whirled Peace ice cream, another new discovery for me. I found some at the corner convenience store last night on my way home from my meeting. Its creamtastic, caramelicious fudginess hit the spot immediately. Added bonus: the groovy name and all it implies, for some extra psychic goodness.
  • I am grateful for Cake’s cover of “I Will Survive.” The booming bass line, the blaring brass and John McCrea’s unique sing/say vocals – it’s just all so damn good. It’s been my soundtrack for the past 24 hours.
  • I am grateful for free stuff. There’s a wonderfully cold (68º constant temperature) natural spring-fed pool (pictured above) in town that doesn’t charge admission until 9:00 a.m. I’ve been swimming laps there in the morning, including today. It’s absolutely glorious, and truly a very cool way to start the day.  Among the other free things I’ve enjoyed recently: the free summer musical in our city park; the free wind and sunshine that I’ve been using to dry my clothes (instead of my gas dryer) since April; and a free Slurpee from 7-11 on 7/11.  And, of course, let’s not forget the best free thing of all: AA meetings.
  • I am grateful for you, for reading and commenting and encouraging me. Your responses are thoughtful and informative and inspiring. Thank you. Keep coming back.
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8 Responses to “When in funk, make list.”

  1. I was wondering why I hadn’t heard from you. I know how funks make you want to hunker down and not be social, for sure. I love that Cake song, too. Too bad it kinda reminds me of my ex-husband (not because of the lyrics, but because of the time it was popular). Let me know when you want to hang out doing some of that fun stuff on your list. I could use some Barton Springs. I want to go check out that Y pool on the east side, too. Also free (for members).
    xoxo

  2. My mom and dad are in central Texas. The fact that I haven’t heard from my mom in several days now has me wondering if she’s passed out from heat stroke on a tennis court somewhere.

  3. 3 Mary W

    Oh, gratitude lists become pretty important as we stay sober. I am doing one that was suggested by one of the members of my Monday Night Women’s Group: 10 things each day and no repeats. I was getting lost just being thankful for being sober, AA, my HP, ad nauseum. So far I have written for four days and have 40 things that I never even thought of. I actually feel more grateful for all that I do have.

    Thanks for reminding me about early sobriety and how hard that first year is. Keep up the good work.

  4. 4 Sharon

    “Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.” ~Denis Waitley

    Thank YOU for this blog… I am grateful for the words here that resonate for me in a way that my nonAA friends don’t understand… I am grateful for the creativity that is simply fun and makes my heart feel lighter… I am grateful that I can show some of my AA friends who are new to the program this blog and they “get” some things because they are articulated so well… I am grateful that I can rant sometimes here about things that I am passionate about and I feel listened to.

    Thank YOU… that is all I really need to say 🙂

  5. I love “I’m grateful” lists – no matter who is making them, they make me instantly feel better about the small joys in life.

  6. 6 hua88

    Hi…

    It’s always good to reflect on the things we are grateful for in life, and publishing your list will encourage others to do the same. For me, it gives me drive and positivity. I’m Hua, the director of Wellsphere’s HealthBlogger Network, a network of over 2,000 of the best health writers on the web (including doctors, nurses, healthy living professionals, and expert patients). I think your blog would be a great addition to the Network, and I’d like to invite you to learn more about it and apply to join at http://www.wellsphere.com/health-blogger. Once approved by our Chief Medical Officer, your posts will be republished on Wellsphere where they will be available to over 5 million monthly visitors who come to the site looking for health information and support. There’s no cost and no extra work for you! The HealthBlogger page (http://www.wellsphere.com/health-blogger) provides details about participation, but if you have any questions please feel free to email me at hua@wellsphere.com. I hope you continue to be successful in your journey and that life brings you more joy!

    Best,
    Hua

  7. 7 Chaz

    So C…. now that a couple of weeks have elapsed since you felt crappy…. can you confirm for all that “This too did pass”?

    Chaz

  8. 8 Man Alive

    I am a regular reader but it’s been a month since you posted … I hope all is well with yourself in Tx.

    Kind regards,

    Man Alive


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