Sticky sober situation, averted.
All those martinis and glasses of vino really added up.
So what’s a gal in recovery to do when she’s out with a group and the bill comes, and someone suggests they divvy it up evenly? Even if I’d sipped a single bottle of Perrier ($4.00), while they’d downed a round of pricey cocktails ($12 a pop) and two bottles of even pricier Pinot Noir?
I’ve felt awkward, to say the least, pointing out my teetotaling when totaling the tab.
Luckily, I wasn’t subjected to this sticky situation when I recently visited my two best friends for a girls’ weekend back East.
During a trip to NYC, the three of us took our friend (and hostess with the mostest, since she let us stay in her comfy Upper East Side apartment overnight) out to a neighborhood Italian restaurant. When the check arrived, my friends – who’ve been undyingly supportive about my sobriety – quickly noted that I hadn’t ordered drinks or wine, and tallied their increased share accordingly.
I can’t tell you how thankful I was. It spared me the discomfort of having to pipe up and make note of the fact that I didn’t drink. Even among friends, I’ll admit, that still can feel weird. And like many alcoholics, I suffer from financial insecurity, so I’ve been known to pinch a penny or two. The times that I’ve gone ahead and paid for much more than my fair share haven’t numbered too many, I’m happy to say. But when I do that, I end up with a lot of resentment. And as AAs know, resentment can be the death of us.
I’m wondering if this is a common experience with my fellow alcoholics out there – and if so, how have you handled it? Or is it just not that big a deal?
Just sign me:
Penny Pinching and Teetotaling in Texas
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Tags: 12-Step Program, AA, alcohol, alcohol-free, alcoholic, alcoholics, Alcoholics Anonymous, bar tab, dining out, drinking, getting sober, girlfriends, girls' weekend, not drinking, recovery, sober, sobriety, travel, trip, wine