In sobriety, all is not lost.


Last year, an Apple employee lost an iPhone prototype in a San Francisco bar. Recently, according to a report by CNET, another iPhone prototype was lost, again at a San Francisco bar.

Both times that I heard the news, my first thought was, “D’oh!

My second thought was, “Was the Apple employee drunk when it happened?”

My third thought was, “Jeez, how many things have I lost while drinking?”

The answer to that one: probably too many to count.

But I’ll give it a shot, anyway. Here’s an incomplete compilation of things I’ve misplaced, left behind, dropped, abandoned or just plain lost while under the influence:

  •  A Canon digital camera = $300
  • A Coach handbag = $150
  • Cash in said handbag = $120
  • A major piece of the bumper of my (at the time) 2-year-old Volvo S60 = $250 (insurance deductible)
  • Various earrings, necklaces, bracelets = undetermined $
  • Down jacket = $75
  • Cashmere sweater = $110
  • Timex watch = $45
  • Various books/magazines = $50
  • Various shoes = $82
  • Ten pairs of cheap sunglasses = $99
  • Contact lens = $5
  • Chili’s gift card = $25
  • Various cocktails, glasses of wine, mugs of beer = $600
  • My dignity = priceless

Amazingly, I never lost my car keys, though there were plenty of times when it definitely would have been better if I had.

Considering that my drinking career spanned three decades, I’m sure there’s much more that could be added to this list. Plus, I didn’t even count the hundreds of hours I lost searching for things I’d misplaced in my alcoholic haze. When I dropped that Coach bag, for example, on the streets of New York City, it ended up in the hands of some sort of identity theft gang. By the time I woke up with a horrific hangover, my driver’s license and major credit card info had been transmitted across the country and used to set up new charge accounts with six different retailers in Minnesota. That one took many, many days to straighten out.

The last few years that I was drinking, I would make very strategic decisions about what to wear or bring on a night out. If an accessory was valuable, it was verboten. For example, I would deliberately not wear my charm bracelet that tinkled with silver mementos that I’d collected on various trips over the years – what if I should lose that wristful of memories in a drunken fog somehow? It was unthinkable. So I stopped wearing it, except during the day.

I stopped buying good sunglasses, watches and purses. It was just too risky.

The other day, though, I found myself in the Coach store at an outlet mall. There I saw the perfect little black bag. On sale.

I bought it.

I intend to have it for a long, long time.

2 Responses to “In sobriety, all is not lost.”

  1. LOVE this post. And I so relate.

    My list includes countless earrings, too.
    A backpack.
    My wallet.
    My clothes.
    Several boyfriends.
    And a husband.
    Among other things…

    Thank you sobriety! And thank YOU my friend.


  2. I still mournfully remember the perfect leather jacket my ex-fiance had spent $400 on for me. Lost at… some company event. I lost my job after that night, too.. and my privilege to enter the establishment.

    Sobriety does cost less!

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